


Love is a Beautiful Thing (Though I Wish it were Mine)

by ldyvanillacourt



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Pining, Rejection, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, but hey at least zen and mc are happy, im sorry, oh btw this takes place in zen’s good ending, yeah it’s sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17291270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ldyvanillacourt/pseuds/ldyvanillacourt
Summary: “Love is a beautiful thing.” Yoosung smiles that warm, welcoming smile again, and Jumin feels inclined to smile too.





	Love is a Beautiful Thing (Though I Wish it were Mine)

The sounds of people talking together, laughing together, enjoying themselves: they make the RFA party considerably loud.

The ringing in Jumin’s ears blocks all this.

He stands at the edge of the crowd, against a wall, and takes a gulp of his wine—an irresponsibly large one, but he couldn’t care less—as his eyes dart back and forth, forth and back, before finally settling.

Assistant Kang and Luciel are talking to V about something he can’t hear over the ringing and the pounding of his splitting headache. When did that happen? He’d have to take some ibuprofen later.

His eyes avert again.

Zen is hand-in-hand with MC, not surprisingly. He had to make such a big scene earlier, too. Jumin doesn’t hate Zen—he actually considers his conversation with him a day or two earlier to be quite charming—but of course he likes to annoy him to no extent, and MC seems like a nice fit for him, even though Jumin had only met her in person today, and Zen prior. The two mingle with partygoers happily as Jumin watches. There’s a lump in his throat. When did that get there? He’d have to drink something actually hydrating later.

Jumin glances at the pond of wine in his hand before returning to his repetitive gaze—

“It’s a nice sight, isn’t it?”

A friendly voice, young and familiar, marks the presence of the person now standing beside him, and thankfully disrupts the ringing. As if on cue, being the only one left.

“Hello, Yoosung.”

He turns slightly to face Yoosung, who smiles in a secondary, less strange greeting. “Hi, Jumin.” His smile is warm and welcoming, something Jumin’s observed lately. Jumin feels the lump in his throat resurface.

“What’s a nice sight?”

Yoosung answers with a gesturing nod towards Zen and MC. His arm is around her now, pulling her closer as he glances up at Yoosung, then to Jumin, then finally to MC, murmuring something drowned out by the noise of the crowd.

“Aren’t they perfect together?”

Good? Yes. Perfect? Jumin would have to think about that one.

“Sure.”

“You aren’t happy for them?”

“I never said that.” He is. He genuinely, truly is happy for them. If anyone in the RFA could enter into a happy, loving relationship, he’s glad Zen found one in MC. He’s glad. He’s glad she helped sort out the whole Echo Girl situation and he’s glad he was able to find home in her.

He glances their way again, his arm still around her waist as she brings her hand to her mouth and laughs.

Well, damn. They really do look like the perfect couple.

“So you are happy for them.”

Jumin’s eyes move to the right and meet Yoosung’s for a few solid seconds. “Yes.”

“Love is a beautiful thing.” Yoosung smiles that warm, welcoming smile again, and Jumin feels inclined to smile too. There’s a feeling in his stomach like a weight. When did that get there? He’d have to—

“I just wish I had a girlfriend.”

Such a Yoosung thing to say.

The room feels stuffy, and for a second he feels like he can’t breathe before he finds he can do it perfectly fine.

“Zen can get a girlfriend. Why can’t I? He’s tall and handsome, I know, but... maybe- y’know, maybe if... he sent me his workout routine. I could be more like him.”

“Ah, yes. What every girl wants. Zen 2.0.”

Yoosung laughs an unexpectedly loud laugh, but Jumin doesn’t mind. He finds it quite attractive. Yoosung can’t see it with his eyes closed, but Jumin gives in to the temptation to smile.

“But yes!” Yoosung says, his laughs fading with each word. “That IS what every girl wants.”

“But not you? I’m sure there’s someone out there who wants Yoosung rather than Zen 2.0.”

Yoosung sighs, still smiling, though it fades when he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. Desirable, his soft blond hair, Jumin notes.

He wonders if he and Yoosung would make the perfect couple.

He’d imagine what it’d be like if he were to hypothetically ask Yoosung out to dinner and he were to hypothetically say yes. Hypothetically spend the night together before hypothetically agreeing to do it again sometime. Maybe, there’s a chance they could work well together. Not exactly perfect, but perfect enough.

It’s been coming up lately, for the past few months. These thoughts about how a date with Yoosung would go, how he’d ask him, how it’d all end with a kiss in reality rather than in a daydream.

Of course, this is all hypothetical. But god, does he wish it isn’t.

“Yeah... maybe. I guess you’re right.”

Jumin almost forgotten what was said before.

“I should give up on dating again.”

“What did I just say? You’ll find someone, Yoosung.”

Yoosung gives a smile, and with the countless job interviews he’s conducted, Jumin can tell the force.

He’s closer to him now, their arms almost touching. When did that happen? Whatever. He doesn’t mind.

Jumin leans his side against the wall to look at Yoosung, eyes dark and serious. “Maybe the right person isn’t so out of reach.”

Yoosung’s eyes widen. “You think so?”

Jumin holds his gaze, swimming in the purple of Yoosung’s eyes. He stays like that for a minute with the silence separating them, neither knowing what to say next.

Jumin shifts forward, his hand moving to tuck another strand of hair behind Yoosung’s ear before moving down to graze his arm, taking his time. “I know so,” he whispers, his voice deep and serious.

Yoosung’s eyes are no longer confused, but dead and emotionless; he doesn’t smile that warm, welcoming smile that makes Jumin’s stomach turn.

“I- Jumin, I...” He glances to the floor, then to Jumin, giving him a look of pity and compassion. “I know what you... what you mean. I’m... flattered, but—”

Sometimes hypothetical things have to stay hypothetical.

“—I’m really sorry, Jumin.”

He’d have to pour himself another glass of wine.

Jumin looks ahead, but his eyes fixing on nothing. The ringing returns, along with the headache, the lump in his throat and that damned weight in his stomach that doesn’t stem from the laughter of a college student but from something that makes him want to pour TWO glasses of wine.

An exhale. A long, tired exhale.

“Guess it just wasn’t meant to be, huh.”

What he’d give for it to be meant to be.

“Yeah...” Yoosung’s eyes are sorrowful, and he’s tense, and Jumin wouldn’t be surprised if he lunges over and either hugs him or punches him. “Guess it wasn’t.”

The rest of the conversation plays out in Jumin’s head before it can happen.

“I need to think,” Yoosung says, a useless spark of hope arising in Jumin. “Are you...?”

“I’m fine. You go on ahead.”

Yoosung looks back, but he doesn’t say goodbye.

Jumin watches as he disappears into the crowd, and soon reappears in Jumin’s sight to spin around and greet MC, his smile so noticeably like before even from how far away he is from Jumin.

And for another time he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear.

God, he’s so breathtaking.

Jumin clutches the wine glass so hard he might break it. It doesn’t crack; it’s only brought to his mouth to take another rushing gulp of wine, not nearly enough to satisfy.

He decides, in that moment, that the happy, loving relationship in the RFA should be left for Zen.

Another thing so unsatisfying.

His eyes once again dart back and forth, forth and back, never settling.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading!
> 
> twitter: ldyvanillacourt  
> tumblr: bisexualray  
> 


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